Word of the Day: Roundelay

Power ballads might have cheesy connotations, but we all know it's the only music we'd be embarrassed in the shower for. Pick who you like; a bit of Adele, Gaga or Aretha will earn you no respect in the karaoke booth - but it's only yourself you're trying to impress anyway, right? Today's word of the day is a tribute to what ballads are not: roundelays, or short, simple songs with refrain.

There is something to be said for the short, simple song that packs a lot of punch. Not all songs have to be sung a la Christina or Mariah (for the good of the general population, it is indeed imperative that the majority of us try not to sing them this way). Indeed, simplicity is such a memorable and beautiful tactic in so many disciplines that is hard to see why anyone would try so hard to complicate things. Yet if there weren't awful complicated songs, there would be no respite for them, and perhaps no American Idol. The world would suffer.

Or would they?

Word of the Day: Dimidiate

Guilty/not guilty. In love/not in love. Employed/not employed. Why does the answer have to always be one or the other? The world is split in half by those who think in white or black, or 50 Shades of Grey; just like our Word of the Day, dimidiate, or split in two.

The idea as to whether there is an absolute truth in any situation is always a complex one. Ask it: emotions get riled up all over the show, especially if you ask it in relation to personal truths. Does the fact that a philosopher was a Nazi unquestionably affect the merit of his ideas? Is cheating acceptable or not? Is it socially acceptable to politically segregate people based on their sexuality? General answers will be complex and subjective; but the fire behind the answers is not.

Why, when we finally agree on something, do we not have the fire inside us to fight against it?

You can't run a country like a business.

Word of the Day: Cinquecento

Sundays are the days that roll around like its sleepers in the morning, stretching out feelers for things to do. A lazy day, Sundays sometimes demand that you add a little spice in your life - being the only day that most people truly have free. The question is: what can add value? For those feeling the fat fastening to their middle regions, a trip to the park might be in order. For the foodies, a trip to the latest-reviewed restaurant. For the rest of us feeling a lapse in the cultural side of things, a museum or gallery fits the bill. Musing along the hallowed hallways of many a tormented soul, we can bring home sights and words that delight our dinner guests and give us an elegant edge. Words like our word of the day: cinquecento: an Italian style of art or artist of the 16th Century.

For those readers who believe they are above visiting a place to add to their image, I would love to believe you. Do you tag yourself in eateries or clubs, become lured by labels or price tags, or have the use the exact cutlery for the cuisine you are crunching? Yes, most people are unknowing casualties of consumer culture. Yet, I'm sure most of us would still agree on wishing we were in the 16th Century in the face of what some channels perceive as Italian art, these days.

Jerseycento just doesn't have quite the same ring.

Word of The Day: Galvanic

As science fiction turns reality with the advent of the first artificial minds, our thoughts naturally turn towards the robotic. These clean, mean, steely machines could be the future of the human race. They know how to use a search engine, can already do much administrative work, and share our unexplained penchant for lolcats. Perhaps our days of boring admin are over. Or, we could just roboticize parts of ourselves, voluntarily. Today's word of the day is galvanic: of, or produced by, electricity.

Living our lives in a galvanized way is already true in many ways; the internet, phones, payment processors and other comfort-inducers are already doing the leg-work. Robots are gaining a cool factor that they've always maintained, but which, like a flattering and tacky fashion trend, reaches consumer peaks every ten years. Making robot-esque human dance music, inducing robot sweat-shops and printing out your own 3D objects are just some of what is in store. It all seems innovative, but a little geeky. Then again, who said the robotic can't be sexy?

Gives you something long and hard to think about.

Word of the Day: Cucullated

You are walking down a shadowy alleyway; you know you shouldn't be there at this time. Your bag clenches, like your fist does, at the thought of someone taking it away. News stories of murder and theft flash across your mind. Could you be today's victim?

The soles of your shoes sidle along the path when you hear the steps behind you. Quick steps. An unclean smell washes across your senses and you realize something is amiss. A shadow of a hood is following you. The steps quicken and snatch! he's away. You shudder in disgust, fear, pity of yourself. Who, what, how did this type of person come to be? He is at least one thing: today's word. Cucullated: shaped like, or covered with, a hood.

To me, a cucullate sounds more like a type of shellfish you might eat at a popular deli. I imagine it pink with a popping shell, something someone might bring up in a conversation or home menu without really knowing what it is. Here is a photo of a cucullated Justin Bieber. Do you think the word could have a double meaning?

Happy fishing, possible cucullates.

Word of the Day: Clangour

Your colleague types loud and fast, mimicking a machine gun. A careless driver swerves in front of you, causing a ding and profanities to be hurled outside your car window. As you take a detested saucer out underneath a pile of detested saucers belonging to your mother in law, they crash to the ground. Whoops. Today's word is clangour: a succession or prevalence of clanging noises.

The great thing about clangour is that it can be used metaphorically with great passion. Nagging, bad singing or an annoying, talkative companion are all clangour-esque. To the educated viewer, the picture below epitomizes societal clangour, but is masked as Hollywood celebrity.

I wish you a day free of clangour and the clangour-esque. Especially if you are hungover.

From Vulture to Eagle: The Evolution of a Networker

Everybody has to start from the bottom. Whether it's the bottom of a ghetto or the bottom of your rich dad's connections (no pun intended), it's usually not a place where your credentials are widely known. So how do you place yourself in a context where the right people are aware of your talents? Some would say the answer is networking. Attending events, sipping wine, having boring conversations where your eyes light up at carrot-dangled opportunities are some of the perks of this lifestyle. But aside from looking the part, what is it you need to do at these events? What is the meaning of 'schmooze' (assuming it's not a combination  of 'shock' and 'booze')? Are you single and ready to mingle, or just hovering around the pringles?

The Event Table: To Chip or not to Chip?

A great way to describe  the networking scene is by relating it to birdlife. It's about becoming an eagle without turning into a vulture.

Entering the room at an event, you will see  a certain species emerge from behind the bushes of the toilet or nearby smoking area. These are the sparrows: they fit in and do not stand out hugely from the scene. They may be well connected with other sparrows, forming a small sparrow community. They like to hover in groups and get private drinks whilst surveying the scene.

Next to the sparrows, or at least in one group of them, are the albatrosses. Albratrosses are exceedingly well connected and have their wings across every ocean. They are also quite noticeable after a few events, and other birds often say good things about them. They are usually pleasant to deal with and smile a lot.

The Vulture: Ready to Swoop on Free Drinks and Business

 Across the room in a corner, or perhaps negotiating a business deal, are the pigeons. Pigeons may be good for business or they may not; often with a pigeon one finds out they didn't pay their staff or sexually harassed a sparrow. They are often two-faced to albatrosses and may have a past as a C-list celebrity. A pigeon is at most risk of turning into a vulture.

Ducks also feature in the scene. Ducks are the most humble and real of the networking scene, and often do not tweet or praise their talents. They are often very successful and live out West or on Waiheke Island, using 'aye', 'bro' or 'mate' to liaise with their fellow colleagues and birds.  They will hover around the food table without abandon and are quick to praise others.

Peacocks are always rife at such a networking scene. They are often boring to talk to but are fawned on by others as they look fabulous or have a fabulous life. Other peacocks that are not so good looking are loud and flamboyant, ruffling their professional feathers with decorum. Their personalities are much better and they are likely to tell jokes and be drunk at functions.

Well, Aren't You Something Special?

Kakapos are also present, but not as often. Kakapos are artsy and rare in the scene, truly valuing great work without the commercial ideas behind it. If you are looking to get the business of a kakapo, talk about their glittering brooch or 40's hairpin rather than your professional talents.

But what of eagles and vultures? Well, Eagles are the CEOs who know it: smiling, confident, lint-free individuals who watch the rest with attention. And the vultures? Well, they are the ones that are most likely to try and look like  an eagle, but are without grace and an air of success. It takes two seconds into a conversation with a vulture to ask for a business card, ask your position, or talk about their own business. Other birds, it seems, will try and develop a relationship first.

So what is the art of networking? Well, there is no art in particular - it depends where you want to fit. The best networkers fit amongst most of the categories, because they are themselves and not a category. They are called the pioneers. And isn't that where we all want to be?