The Art of Hustling: Free Shopping as a Gangster’s Paradise

The world is made beautiful by many skills and learned arts. Music, singing, oration, acting, socializing, story-telling. Arts are usually noble, subtly acquired things, like learning how to beat an opponent in a game of chess. They carry an aura of sophistication and you are proud of your leaned art or skill. You, attempting to be modest about it, will subtly brag of your talent, devising situations in which your talent can be put in the spotlight for all to see. Your talent might be a nice pair of legs you worked hard at Les Mills for, or an incredible general knowledge, or an aptitude for putting together a beautiful outfit that is kooky and classy at the same time. Nevertheless, arts are things acquired, admired, and often hired to improve your confidence in front of that daily bathroom mirror.

Until recently I had never regarded hustling as an art. It was always one of those awkward talents that bordered half on embarrassment, half on fun. Your friend might notice someone giving you the eye and hustle a drink through your looks, but you were always left with a taste of seediness in your mouth after the event. You might have worked in a hell-awful call centre, hustling free surveys and minutes of people’s time, always left with a touch of desperation you never really wanted to experience afterwards. Hustling as a form of bargaining was like the guy you would never show to your parents, but would meet in some secret location away from prying eyes: you liked the feeling in the moment, but you didn’t like the consequences. Unclean, humiliating and with a crooked smile, hustling was a part of yourself you didn’t want to truly embrace.

After reflecting on a few of life’s beauties, however, I realized that there was more to hustling. It had hidden virtues and was actually a different entity to the one that I had envisioned. Hustling was a way of life. It did not have to be associated with bad boy rappers and drug dealers, or with people whose desperation had got the better of them. Hustling, indeed, was the art of persuasion. After having heard the other day in one of those oh-so-informative classes that persuasion informed any kind of social agreement or relationship, I realized that hustling too was an important part of any relationship (if you decided to take that theoretical line). Was hustling just persuasion’s dirtier younger cousin? If we persuaded somebody to do something, we were really proud and told all of our friends. But if we hustled something, oh no, ‘that was low’, that was not ‘one of our finer moments’. Hustling had been stereotyped, and I felt bad for him.

Being a charitable person, I decided to try and restore hustling’s good name (did it ever have one?). I applauded those that hustled free drinks or numbers. I began to admire those that could knock money off a dress new to the store that had no defects. I elevated people’s persistence in trying to hustle a good deal out of their next purchase (which had to be over the amount of $20; after all, giving hustling a good name did not have to amount to glorifying stinginess). Consequently, I made a hustling breakthrough. I, the one who had always been embarrassed of trying to get things for free, hustled something of substantial value. I must say, surprisingly, I was rather proud. And why shouldn’t we be? Isn’t it in the nature of New Zealanders to go to Fair Go if they get a bad deal? To try and get the best value for their dollar? To always go the extra mile for customers (which includes getting good service at the other side of the counter)? Hustling had not only lost its shame, but had acquired a kind of national pride, and I loved it.

For those who still despise the hustler, I ask you: have you ever felt the feeling of elation in getting something for free? Did you like the feeling when, after a great bargain you made happen yourself, your wallet was still that bit heavier afterwards? For the unspoken truth is that if human relationships are persuasion, and persuasion equals hustling, then a big part of good socializing is indeed the humble hustle. Hustle friends, hustle contacts, hustle sex if you must. But hustle with your head held high.